Happy 18 Months Hannah!

Dear Sweet Hannah,

18 months sounds both too old for you, and yet too young. It seems as though you have always been a part of our family. And, I guess in the eternal perspective, you always have. You fit right in to our crazy home :).

I am constantly amazed at how unique you are; from your stubborn personality to your contagious laughter. You have grown and learned so much in these past 6 months! You run, attempt to jump, climb, talk, and coerce us into giving you your way! Some of the most common words I have heard you say lately are Mama (also sometimes Mommy), Da (Doggy), Ma (more or milk), Ba (Lydia, Beckym, book, and Peek and Boo), Dada (Daddy), Uh Oh (anytime anything falls on the floor) and, my personal favorite, Thank you (pronounced Tay Too)! You belligerently hate sign language. You do know how to say more, all done, please and milk. However any attempt to get you to say them results in massive tantrums and a hilarious variation on Michael Jackson's moonwalk!

Your favorite things are your cuddly (a pink owl blankie thing), baby dolls, your rocking moose, coloring (you're really good at staying on the paper too!), pushing around things (like the stroller or shopping cart), copying anything Lydia is doing, being held by me, and washing your hands. It's very difficult to say what your favorite foods are because sometimes you eat things and other times you refuse. However, the things that you are most consistent about are mac and cheese, peas, pizza, anything sugary, milk, chocolate milk, and most fruit. You also love carrying around your blankets and hiding under them or playing with them. It's the cheapest and easiest toy to keep you occupied for a long time! You love going outside! Any mention of shoes or outside and you will not forget it until we have let you out! I have to try to sneak into the garage if I want to leave the house without you! You also LOVE slides! This too can occupy you for a very long time!

Oh sweet Hannah! With all of the joys of having children and watching them experience joy also comes the pain of watching them suffer. It greatly hurts me to watch you struggle for air every time you get sick and your asthma acts up. Lately this has happened almost monthly and the problem seems to only be getting worse each time. Part of me was excited for you to turn 18 months and be old enough for nursery at church. But the other part of me dreaded it because of all of the germs floating around in there. For our first week there I was also asked to sub. So I stayed in there with you. But within a few hours after church I started to get sick and the days since have only progressed. You have now experience your first hospital stay as a result. I question if nursery is where you should be if you are this sick having only gone in there once. I do not consider myself to be an over-protective mother. You have played with other kids and been exposed to germs. But I don't want to be careless and knowingly expose you to things when it hurts you so bad. So, for now I think that we will take things slowly.

As I mentioned, you have experienced your first hospital stay and you did not like it one bit! You screamed every time any of the doctors or nurses even listened to your lungs. You hated the pulse oximeter on your finger or toe. And those are the gentle things that were done to you while there. As time progressed, things only got worse for you. Though your condition was improving, you were becoming more aware of your surroundings and knew that you wanted out. If I wasn't holding you then you were screaming and banging on the door to leave the room. You got so happy when we went on brief walks to the vending machines or the playroom. However, even all of the fun toys in the playroom weren't enough to make you forget where you were. Luckily your asthma did improve well enough in the time we were in the hospital that you were discharged within 20 hours and sent home with a new controller medication (that will hopefully prevent hospitalizations like this in the future!) and a higher dose of albuterol for the times that we need it :). Even through all of your screaming fits and insistence that I hold you all night long on my little couch bed, you were a sweetheart and very compliant to the necessary medications and procedures. You never tried to pull out your IV or push away your breathing treatments. I think that you know and understand the need for these things and how they help you. I am so grateful for this because, unfortunately, I would probably be naïve to think that we will never experience similar episodes again.

Hannah, I love you and am so grateful to have you as a daughter. You are my sweet little snuggler! I pray that your strong personality and opinions will lead you in the right direction and help you to make good choices. I also pray that we will learn together how to manage your asthma and be able to still have a lot of fun in life! I love you and want you to experience true joy! You are, forever, my little angel!

Love,
Momma